


I Will Always Lead You Home

by Rancid_Rat6186



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And doesn't have the serum, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky falls from the train, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The First Avenger Spoilers, M/M, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 20:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12465716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rancid_Rat6186/pseuds/Rancid_Rat6186
Summary: Bucky fell from the train, landing in a ravine between two snowy mountains.He knew he would never make it out from there, but he knew that he would see Steve again. Even if it meant as one of the stars they always loved to watch.These are the words he hopes Steve can hear.





	I Will Always Lead You Home

**Author's Note:**

> Another lyrical AU to add to the list.
> 
> The Fray "Be Still"  
> It's an amazing song, so I suggest you listen to it, because, yup, it's amazing. 
> 
> Oh, uhm, sorry for all the sad.

**"Be still and know**  
**That I'm with you**  
**Be still and know**  
**That I am here**  
**Be still and know**  
**That I'm with you**  
**Be still, be still, and know"**

The night sky is so open, Stevie. If you could see all of these stars, just imagine, all the amazing things you could draw from them. Could you draw them for me, sometime? Maybe, leave it where you go to visit me? I know it won't be here. It'll be somewhere back home. Where we both should have stayed, should have grown old and together.

We shouldn't be like this, so far apart. But, this is the way it needed to be. You out there, showing the world everything I already knew. Don't let this break you, Stevie. Please. I'm okay here. It's cold, but it's beautiful. It's so quiet and peaceful. I don't even feel any pain. You know I'll suffer the cold for you. If it meant you would be warm, I'd give you all my heat. Just like all those cold winters growing up. I always gave you my extra blankets when you were sleeping. I always wanted you safe, and warm. So, I'm okay.

Please, don't cry over me. I know you're going to. Just like when your Ma died. You tried to hide away and drink an entire bottle of something disgusting. I had to carry you to your bed. And you tried to not cry, you did. Such a stubborn heart, you have. You know that, right? But, that night, you curled into me and cried until the morning came crashing in on us.

Please, don't cry this time. I'm okay. I promise you. I'll be okay. This is okay. You'll be okay. You always would be.

  
**"When darkness comes upon you**  
**And covers you with fear and shame**  
**Be still and know**  
**That I'm with you**  
**And I will say your name"**

  
When you get lonely, and it's late at night, you can always look up to the sky. Please, remember me, then. When you see the stars flickering, sparkling against the darkness you sometimes found yourself in. That's me. It will always be me.

Just like when we were younger, before this world tore us apart. When all our worries could be forgotten with just one cold soda pop and two stolen straws.

Wow, Stevie. I wish you could see those stars now. It's funny, how bright they always are when it's cold like this. Just like the time when we were barely ten, and you snuck out to steal me away in the middle of the night. We snuck on one of the trains down by the docks, and rode it all the way to its end. The sky was so beautiful, that night. So open, so clear. We could see everything. It's funny, isn't it? How trains and stars would always be a part of me? A part of our story?

I think I even tried counting them all that night, a few times. But, I'd always look over to see you staring up at the sky and would lose count. Your face was so bright, even in the middle of the night, even without the moonlight to shine a path for us. You were my own light, my own path.

Even when you laughed at me when I asked you what you thought the stars felt like. You told me their light could burn me up, and I laughed and smiled back at you. You didn't understand but you understood. You were always the only one who ever did.

We picked out our favorites. You said you liked the red ones, the ones scattered across the sky. Because, it was the only color you could see, and even then, only sometimes. You asked me the names, and some of them I knew. You rolled them off your tongue after I said them. Words always sounded better from you. And, I told you mine was Aludra, just below the three dots of Orion's belt. I told you it was because that star flickered with reds and blues, always changing their color, but never where it called home. I wanted to tell you that's how I see you. I'm always changing who I am, who I should be, because it's who everybody else wants me to be. But, those reds I sometimes get to flash in between, those reds are for you. Those reds match your reds. And, no matter how many flickers of changing light the world makes me be...I always find my home.

You are my home.

I'll always find you.

And, you laid your head on my shoulder, and you whispered to me, and all the stars between us, _"Happy Birthday, Bucky"._

  
**"If terror falls upon your bed**  
**And sleep no longer comes**  
**Remember all the words I said**  
**Be still**  
**Be still**  
**And know"**

  
Stevie? I can see my star right now. It's still sparkling with our colors. My colors and yours, mixed together, as one. Always as one. You and me. Always you and me. It's there with me. It's okay, Stevie. It's here with me, now. I'm not alone. You're here with me.

It doesn't hurt, okay? It doesn't hurt.

I can see your face. I can hear your voice. I can feel your laugh.

I can feel all of that, Stevie. I can feel all of that and nothing else. You're still here with me, and I'm okay.

Always, you and me.

  
**"When you go through the valley**  
**And the shadow comes down from the hill**  
**If morning never comes to be**  
**Be still**  
**Be still**  
**Be still"**

  
It'll be okay. I'll be okay.

Because, Stevie? I wasn't cut out for this life. I was made to be broken, and well, look at me now. Broken.

I was made to be broken, and it just took me this long to finally fall down into pieces. I was made to be broken and you were made to shine. It's okay. That's how I wanted it to be. I wanted you to always shine. I would take all these wounds and these scars each and every day, over and over again, just so you never needed to feel them.

You were never made to be anything but good.

  
**"If you forget the way to go**  
**And lose where you came from**  
**If no one is standing beside you**  
**Be still**  
**And know I am"**

  
When you feel like you're losing your way, and it's getting harder and harder to remember why it's worth being you...you can always look up to the stars, and that's where you'll find me. I'll lead the way for you, Stevie. Just like you had always done for me.

I'll lead you home.

Home. Home was always where you were. Even in all this chaos, I was home when I was with you. You gave me shelter and safety. Even when I could carry you with just one arm, you were where all my strength came from. And that world tried to snuff you out, tried to make you believe you weren't cut out for it.

They were always so wrong.

You were always too stubborn to quit out on life. You always had something to prove, but you never had to prove anything to me. I saw you. I always saw you. I always saw into your soul and found my safety, the place I wanted to build around me, to surround me.

Don't ever lose that, okay? Don't let the world try to silence you. Don't let it take all the colors from it. Always see the beauty you create, the beauty you bring. Don't let them tear you down. Don't forget all the goodness inside of your heart, okay?

  
**"Be still and know**  
**That I'm with you**  
**Be still**  
**And know I am"**

  
When the world gets quiet like this, some nights when you feel like you can't keep going, I'll be there. If you just close your eyes, and shut the world off for a moment. I'll find you. I'll always find you. And, I will sit with you, for as long as you need. Just because this is where the world keeps us apart for now, doesn't mean it can keep us apart for good. I will find my way back to you.

I'll walk across the stars, using them as my own map, that will only ever lead to you. They will light my way, warm me all the way through until I can reach you. And we can lay on our backs, world slipping away from under our fingertips, and watch the sky. We can watch the stars flicker and shine. We can pick out our favorites and we can just be. We can settle in under the stillness of the neverending night sky.

We can just be.

And, when you need to know what way is up, again, that's where you can find me. That's where I'll find you.

I'll always be there, Stevie. I'll always be right there, for you. I need you to remember that. I need you to know. That just because the world has shifted and we've stumbled apart, it doesn't mean I'll never see you again. I need you to know this was never a world where both of us could exist side by side, only that this was an eternity where our souls would always find a way back together, again, in the end.

The stars are so beautiful, Stevie. I wish you could see them all.

I wish you could see them all with me.

But, it's okay. I'm okay. This will all be okay.

We'll be okay. You'll be okay.

The stars will always lead us back to each other. Just look up to them when you need me. I will always be there.

I will always lead you home.


End file.
